Ryan’s ultimate 12 step guide to ordering wine in a restaurant:
All secrets are revealed in these 12 steps!
1. Look at the wine list and order the wine you want. Don’t worry if it “goes with the meal” order what you like.
2. If you are unsure of what to order, it is perfectly ok to ask for a suggestion from your waiter.
3. Ask for a second suggestion after the waiter has given you their first. Order the second suggestion, (Don’t ask why, just do it.)
4. When the wine is presented just make sure it is the wine you ordered. (Yes, waiters are human and they do make mistakes)
5. When the waiter serves the wine take a sip. (Don’t sniff the cork, the sip will do and you won’t look like a putz)
6. If the wine is “ok”, say the wine is “ok”. (If there is anything wrong with the wine now is the time to speak up!)
7. You can ask everyone if they like the wine. (They are polite people and they will say that they like it.)
8. Now, shut up about the wine!
9. Really, no one cares how much you know about wine. (You picked a bottle, you did not perform f’n brain surgery.)
10. And please don’t swirl the wine around your glass all night and keep looking at it like it’s your prom date.
11. It’s WINE for Christ sake! (If you really wanted to impress anyone you should have ordered whisky)
12. As a matter of fact, order a whisky! (What the hell were you thinking?)